Here you will find Inspired Writings from Cary, Wendy and others. Most recent writings are always on top.
Tiger Woods and Attitude – Choose Happiness?
On this weekend when the world of music is celebrating the 40th Anniversary of Woodstock, I found myself intrigued by golf’s PGA Championship. Tiger Woods had a lead from the start and there was great anticipation for him to win, especially since no one has ever come from behind to win when he has had this kind of lead.
What’s this have to do with happiness? Read on.
Throughout the round today Tiger played well, especially with the wet & windy conditions but not well enough, as Y.E. Yang of Korea became the first Asian born player to win a major championship.
I felt terrible for Tiger and disappointed that he didn’t win. These feelings reminded me of my youth, where I always wanted to win and I had a poor sense of sportsmanship (like in Little League when I beat the ground with my baseball bat, upon striking out).
I have changed over the years, yet I still like to win.
I can’t even imagine what it must have felt like for Tiger to have lost and immediately had to meet with the press, yet I was surprised at Tiger’s press conference after the round, and so was the renowned Australian golfer Peter Thomson, as he expressed in articles in the London Telegraph and AOL’s sports blog FanHouse.
When asked about Y.E. Yang’s win, I would have loved to have seen Tiger put his competitive spirit aside for a larger perspective for the love of the game.
I wished to have watched Tiger say, “Of course I expected to win today, but that’s not what happened. I am so happy for Y.E. Yang, his family and fans for winning his 1st major and what an incredible boost this will be for the game of golf throughout all of Asia.”
What a dignifying sportsmanship comment that would have been especially coming from the world’s biggest influence on the game of golf.
Now about happiness….
I look forward to watching sporting events and at the end, at first glance you can’t tell who won. Because both sides are truly grateful and extremely happy for having the opportunity to play that day, everybody is smiling.
You may say this is unrealistic. I say this can happen and is awaiting to happen.
It is a choice away.
For all of us at any moment we are being offered the opportunity to choose joy, happiness or misery. Even when things don’t go our way, especially when they don’t, how does it feel to choose unhappiness, even for a moment?
C’mon try it out. Why choose to be down when you lose, when you can choose to be happy. This isn’t to say just brush over the hard, difficult moments in our lives, yet isn’t it more life giving to cherish and deeply value each moment,- regardless of what’s showing up?
The War Is Over!
Today, I declare the war is over.
The war is complete.
I have found the enemy – it is me.
I have found my greatest friend – it is me.
Today, I declare the war of doubt is over.
Doubt is one of my best friends, not my enemy.
Doubt is one of my greatest trainers of loving self.
Doubt has not come to take me down the well of emotional abyss.
Doubt has come to test my desire, to see how strong I believe in what I say or dream. The storm of Doubt has come. Its deepest desire is to help me, making sure I stand by my heart’s yearnings.
The storm of Doubt desires strongly that I succeed,
yet it must present turbulence to me,
the exact opposite of what it desires for me.
The storm of Doubt is my sparing partner – the stronger, closer I get to realize my dreams, the stronger the storm gets.
It must keep intensifying, staying one step ahead.
The storms may shorten, yet their blows will be more intense.
Doubt is one of my greatest trainers of accepting all of me.
Whenever a doubt arises,
I remember it has come to remind me to love myself.
Doubt is not my enemy, it is one of my best friends.
©2007 Cary Valentine
The War Is Over Essay
I found the enemy and it is me. I found my best friend and it is me. Artists, such as musicians, painters, actors, filmmakers, woodworkers, athletes, etc. are the cheerleaders for the rest of society. We are to embody our craft and every moment engage ourselves in exaltation of thought and energy.
How can we create such a state of exaltation? Let’s explore this issue. For all of us there is some pattern of doubt that we hear in our heads or from others, which when this pattern surfaces in our thoughts, and we have chosen to bite into this “poisoned apple” we immediately go down the well of despair as quickly as a blinking of an eye. This could be, “you really aren’t that good, not good-looking enough, too fat, too thin, just mediocre, not making enough money, not a satisfying
sexual partner, not unique, not creative enough, etc.”. Essentially, something negative. Alas, we have spent so much time down this well trying to get out, that many of us are exhausted from this internal war and are looking for a way to end this cycle of despair and begin anew.
The thoughts that we hear in our heads are not to hurt, harm, ensnare, enslave us. They are actually saying the opposite of what we are hearing and feeling to train us, to coach us, to remember that we are all grand, powerful creative masterpieces. So if we can emotionally jump down the well of despair in a blink, then we can also rise out of it as quickly and climb to an exalted state of beingness through the powerful tool of choice.
To live in such an exalted state sounds great in an utopian world or fantasy. Yet how do we do this in our present world? First, by will and determination to make the choice to not go down the same spiral and consequently relaxing enough to be able to accept the feelings that arise by not feeding the same pattern. For example, life shows up in a way we don’t want or like (weather, bad hair day, or an aggravation from a family member or co-worker), and we judge this experience. That judgmental thought becomes a feeling, and that feeling gets stored in the body. Yet by choice we learn to accept the feelings and stop the train of the doubts and gradually release these stored judgments, clearing through a cloud of misery and eventually move into a new vibrant being. To clear through this density, we need to create an intimate relationship with ourselves and be responsible for each and every thought, doing the same process of not reacting over and over again.
The state of exaltation is awaiting each and everyone of us now, if we yearn and work ourselves to reach this state. It is not hard or difficult; it is simply new. When you recognize the formula it is as easy as knowing 1+1= 2. The doubts, the fears, the negative tape loops, have always been there as reminders, as billboards for all of us to rise to our grandeur. Therefore things are not what they appear to be. You are wonderfully talented; your essence is beautiful, and the golden opportunities that you yearn for are seeking you. In order to create the life you want, you must actively participate in choosing what you believe and consider the negative voices as coaches training you to remember that you are a masterpiece. They are checking to see how much you really believe in yourself, to transform yourself and not be effected by the heckling of voices and feelings. How much do you love self? What is love? One definition is: life force.
From this process of discontinuing the same old negative tape loop, we begin to create and live in our own bubble of effervescence, and inspiration comes through us and expressed into our craft. Not needing or seeking the applause outside of us. We create a cocoon that we live in, bringing a freshness into the air wherever we go. Our creations serve to cheer on the world around us, inspiring others to also remember and reach for the same in their own life.
Then your art gets infused with this life force and people will be attracted to it. From this perspective we awaken to see that we are not victims of our life and our circumstances. Rather we are in fact creators of our life, authoring and weaving every moment. The state of life is alive being shaped and molded every breath we take.
So, if you are not pleased with yourself and your life you can change it. You always have had this ability. That’s what our trainers have been wanting us to awaken to all along. As Glinda said so eloquently and almost shockingly to Dorothy in The Wizard Of Oz, “you could have gone home anytime.”
2007 Cary Valentine